Dating Background Checks-Are They Really Necessary?
Posted: Wednesday, July 22, 2009
by Deborah Nelson
Author Your Dreams
A wise and savvy person once coined the phrase, "All is Fair in Love and War," but had they glimpsed into the future of online dating, they would have seen both LOVE and WAR waged on the same battleground--the Internet.
The Wild West of the Internet has allowed matters of the heart to become fair game for dating scams, con artists, and Love Predators! The war they wage is to win access to your mental space, your home, your bank account, your precious time, your heart, and in the worst cases, your children's innocence. Today, every encounter with a virtual stranger could be putting you and your family at risk.
But how realistic is this? And WHEN do you run back ground checks? Before the first Starbucks date? How do you ask your date for their social security number? Should you run a background check just before physical intimacy? What if someone runs a background check on you? At what point are you so invested in the relationship that you really don't want to know?
There's a newer solution to the cumbersome task of running background checks on those you meet and date. It is a new concept called dating ID; which is voluntary, rather than invasive like a background check. Dating ID reduces risk and exposure to the love predators while providing entry into a truthful dating community. Dating ID is has a patent in process with the USPTO, but is now available online.
Dating ID is simple. It is voluntary and is updated annually. A background check is not voluntary and invades privacy, and is generally less accurate than verified information. With Dating ID, it's not necessary to ask for someone's SSN. Dating ID covers its holders for an entire year and can be used offline and online in any dating or social networking situation.
Dating ID is more reliable than the background check is because the people (daters) applying for the dating ID volunteer their information; and investigators can verify it. Because of privacy law, real background checks can be time consuming if you want accuracy rather than a false sense of security given with automated background checks.
One really big problem with doing a background check is the marital status. There is no national marital database in the United States. So technically, to verify marital status, an investigator would need to search every county in the United States for marital and divorce documentation. With a background check you are unlikely to get reliable marital status if any from automated online background checks.
Another complication is Identity fraud. In my true story, "Oops I married a Con Artist," I explain how my husband was using 4 different social security numbers. So before running a dating background check; it would be good to know that the background check is being done on a real person, rather than a false identity. First things first.
Having a Dating ID makes it easy to ask another person for theirs; and further, instead of running a dating background check on everyone, each person goes through the process once a year, and its done. Running a background check on every person before meeting them is expensive and cumbersome. And if you don't do it on everyone, the person you skip might just be that person who gets to you in some way, whether by perpetuating an e-mail fantasy affair, or all the way to having the worst of evil intentions.
Ms Deborah Nelson is a writer/inventor/entrepreneur and owner of several businesses including The AdStuff Company, Author Your Dreams Publishing Co, (http://www.authoryourdreams.com) Vacation Suites Global; inventor founder of The Dating Passport (http://www.MyDatingPassport.com) and nominee of the Entreprenureal Excellence Award given by WORKING WOMEN'S MAGAZINE. She is a published author and national finalist in the Ms Corporate America Pageant in 2008. You may obtain her true story, "Oops, I Married a Con Artist, and Dating Wisdom for the 21st Century," from The Dating Passport website. Nelson has been interviewed on live national TV about the Dating Passport on a segment covering Internet Fraud in 2008 on the Fox Network.
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Top-level comments on this article: (5 total)Hi Deborah, welcome to searchwarp! Internet dating can be pretty scary. Thanks for introducing the dating ID program, however, it would be nice if you would share the details of how this works and why it is more reliable than background checks. Background checks are objective and usually third party. Who provides the info for the ID program? This could be an excellent and highly informative article for those using online dating resources if you included this information.Blessings to you! TeresaDear Teresea:
Thanks for your comment! I can tell the details of Dating ID, however since I am the inventor and have a patent in process, the last time I included more of the details of Dating ID, my article got axxed for being "too self promotional."To answer your question, the reason that Dating ID is more reliable than the background check is because its proactive and the people (the daters) applying for the dating ID volunteer their information; and the investigators can verify it. Because of privacy law, there's a lot about a background checks that can be extremely time consuming if you want accuracy as opposed to a false sense of security given with automated background checks.Additionally, another complication is IDENTITY FRAUD. In my book, true story, "Oops I married a Con Artist," I explain how my husband was using 4 different social security numbers. So before you go running a background check on someone it would be REALLY good to know that the background check you are running is on a REAL PERSON rather than a false identity. First things first.One really big problem with doing a background check is the marital status. THERE IS NO national marital database in the United States. So technically, an investigator would have to go on a wild goose chase to verify marital status looking in every county in the United states for Marital and Divorce documentation. So with a background check you are unlikely to get reliable marital status information if any at all.With the Dating ID, when a person applies for his or her dating ID they simply state their marital status, including the date, the county where the last divorse or marriage occurred and the investigators easily verify that information and cross reference it with other information given. This is one small example of how much easier it is to verify information that is volunteered rather than to try to snoop around doing a background check on someone who isn't involved with the process.
When a person has a Dating ID, it makes it really easy to ask another person for theirs; and further, instead of running a check on everyone they go out with, each person gets a Dating ID, goes through the process once a year, and its done.Running a background check on each and every person before meeting them is expensive and cumbersome. Then if you don't do it on everyone, well, why even do it, because the person you don't do on, might end up being the person that takes from you, whether they are just creating an e-mail love fantasy affair or have the worst of evil intentions in mind.The Dating Passport which I have founded issues a Dating Passport ID, and when two people want to meet and know that they are real persons, and not virtual strangers, they exchange dating ID numbers and then they can go online and look at the other person's dating ID once they type in the number. That number can also be changed by the DATING PASSPORT holder at any time, if they decide they don't want the person to have access to their ID anymore. the ID protects privacy too, because it only says verified on most of the information, so that the information is not publically showing. the e-mail is verified, but only hyperlinked, its not showing, and addresses are verified, but again not showing...only the city.I hope that these answered some of your questions, and I so much appreciate your interest, Perhaps I could add the part about verifying the martial status to the article without risking getting axxed for talking about it in detail.
It was helpful to know that there are other alternatives to a dating background check rather than having to be so invasive at the beginning of a relationship!
Wow! This is great. I totally agree with Deborah. While a background check is not practical in the dating world, having a dating id makes a lot of sense. I'll definitely recommend this article to my friends!
Great idea!
With anonymity so rampant on the internet, it has even elevated the desire to remain anonymous in face-to-face meetings like bars, concerts, etc. We have become so 'impersonal' while still desiring that 'personal' connection. With a Dating ID, I present myself as a real person...I volunteer to certify my identity... the women I meet appreciate it and it has broken down a lot of barriers...now if only more women would tell me they have a Dating ID...mmm?MMM?mmm?MMM. It sure would 'uncomplicate' those first few moments of a new relationship...so we could get down to some 'real' communication. I like it!...and I'm going to ask all my friends and new 'acquaintances' to get theirs. My Dating ID is 'nickers55'. Go check it out!
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